For an anniversary trip
Anniversary questions worth the trip.
An anniversary trip is a chance to look at the two of you from a little distance: what you've built, who you've each become, and what you want next. These questions come from Sojourn's couples journey. Bring one to dinner and let it take as long as it takes.
Looking back
Answer privately first, then reveal together.
- 1What is the most important thing you've learned about us?
- 2What is a moment you chose differently than you once would have?
- 3What are you most proud of, about us?
- 4What is a story we tell about us that no longer fits?
Each other
Slower questions. Take turns, and listen all the way to the end.
- 5What are you most afraid I don't see about you?
- 6When do you feel most like yourself?
- 7What would you attempt if you were sure I had your back?
- 8When do you feel most loved by me?
The years ahead
- 9What do you want to be true of us in ten years?
- 10What character do you want our ordinary week to have?
- 11What do you want us to protect from the world?
- 12What is one thing you wish we did more of?
Free printable
Take all 25 questions with you.
A printable PDF to fold into your bag and open somewhere new. Written by a licensed marriage and family therapist.
How to use them
- Pick two or three, not all twelve - one good conversation beats a quiz.
- For "Looking back", write your answers separately and reveal them together.
- If an answer surprises you, ask "tell me more" before you respond.
- On the last night, write each other a short letter and read it aloud once.
Questions people ask
What do you talk about on an anniversary trip?
Three directions work well: looking back at what you've built and what you're proud of, checking in on how each of you is really doing, and talking about what you want the next years to feel like. Open-ended questions work better than yes-or-no ones.
We don't have a trip planned. Can we still use these?
Yes. A dinner out, a weekend at home with the phones away, or a long drive works. A new place helps, but the questions work anywhere you both slow down.
Is this couples therapy?
No. These are reflection questions. Sojourn is a guided reflection companion, not therapy. If you're struggling, a licensed professional can help.
These questions come from Sojourn, a guided journey for before you go, while you're there and after you're home - for couples and solo travelers. It's a reflection companion, not therapy.