For the turn of the year
Questions to ask each other before the new year.
The last days of the year are a natural pause: a chance to look at the year you just had together, notice what changed, and decide what you want the next one to feel like. These questions come from Sojourn's couples journey. Take them on a winter walk, a long dinner, or a quiet night in.
Looking back on the year
Answer privately first, then reveal together.
- 1What did we do well this year?
- 2What is the most important thing you learned this year?
- 3What is something I did this year that you haven't told me you noticed?
- 4What are you most proud of, about us?
How we've changed
Slower questions. Take turns, and listen all the way to the end.
- 5What feels genuinely different between us than a year ago?
- 6What is a moment you chose differently than you once would have?
- 7What might you need that I haven't given?
The year ahead
- 8What does a good ordinary Tuesday look like five years from now?
- 9How do you want money to feel in our life?
- 10What do you want us to be known for, between us?
- 11What is one new thing we could try together?
- 12What is one thing you wish we did more of?
- 13What do you want to be true of us in ten years?
Free printable
Take all 25 questions with you.
A printable PDF to fold into your bag and open somewhere new. Written by a licensed marriage and family therapist.
How to use them
- Pick three or four, not all thirteen - one good conversation beats a quiz.
- For "Looking back", write your answers separately and reveal them together.
- If an answer surprises you, ask "tell me more" before you respond.
- Write down one thing from "The year ahead" and put it somewhere you'll see it in March.
Questions people ask
What should couples talk about before the new year?
Three directions work well: what went well this year and what you're proud of, how each of you has changed, and what you want the next year to feel like - not just what you want to get done. Open-ended questions work better than yes-or-no ones.
Is this different from making New Year's resolutions together?
Resolutions are about goals. These questions are about the two of you: what you noticed, what you need, and what you want your ordinary days to feel like. Goals often come out of that conversation on their own.
Is this couples therapy?
No. These are reflection questions. Sojourn is a guided reflection companion, not therapy. If you're struggling, a licensed professional can help.
These questions come from Sojourn, a guided journey for before you go, while you're there and after you're home - for couples and solo travelers. It's a reflection companion, not therapy.