For couples who travel
Questions to ask your partner on vacation.
A trip gives you something ordinary weeks don't: time, distance from the to-do list, and a new place that makes you both a little more curious. These are the questions couples bring to that moment in Sojourn - for a long dinner, a train window, the last night before you fly home.
The life you're building
Big-picture questions - good for a long walk.
- 1What does a good ordinary Tuesday look like five years from now?
- 2Where do you want to have lived, at least once?
- 3What kind of work do you want to be doing — and what kind do you want to be done with?
- 4How do you want money to feel in our life?
Each other
Slower questions. Take turns, and listen all the way to the end.
- 5What are you most afraid I don't see about you?
- 6When do you feel most like yourself?
- 7What is something you carry from childhood that still shows up?
- 8What does rest actually look like for you?
- 9What would you attempt if you were sure I had your back?
The two of you
- 10When do you feel most loved by me?
- 11What is one thing you wish we did more of?
- 12What is a story we tell about us that no longer fits?
- 13What do you want to be true of us in ten years?
Free printable
Take all 25 questions with you.
A printable PDF to fold into your bag and open somewhere new. Written by a licensed marriage and family therapist.
How to use them
- Pick two or three, not all thirteen - one good conversation beats a quiz.
- Ask somewhere you're both relaxed: a long meal, a drive, a quiet morning.
- Answer your own question too. It's a conversation, not an interview.
- If an answer surprises you, ask "tell me more" before you respond.
Questions people ask
What should couples talk about on vacation?
Vacation is a good time for the conversations ordinary weeks crowd out: where you want your life to go, what each of you needs to feel rested, and what you want more of together. Open-ended questions work better than yes-or-no ones.
How many questions should we ask in one sitting?
Two or three is plenty. Let each answer breathe; the follow-up "tell me more" is often where the real conversation starts.
Is this couples therapy?
No. These are reflection questions for a trip. Sojourn is a guided reflection companion, not therapy. If you're struggling, a licensed professional can help.
These questions come from Sojourn, a guided journey for before you go, while you're there and after you're home - for couples and solo travelers. It's a reflection companion, not therapy.